Driving

I got stuck driving behind a student driver the other night. Since I had plenty of time to think (going 20mph in a 45 zone), I began to consider all the things that we aren't taught in Driver's Ed.

For instance, everyone learns (eventually) that when you are at a red light, it's important to watch the car in front of you. If they roll a couple of inches forward, you must immediately follow suit. If you don't, you risk getting honked at by the person behind you, who saw the movement and can't figure out why you're not trying to get closer to the line. After all, that extra inch and a half may make the difference between making the green light and having to sit through another red one.

Try it sometime. Next time you're sitting at a red light, inch forward a little and then watch the cars behind you. Or better yet, try to stop yourself from moving when the car in front of you rolls. It's goes against all instinct.

Apparently there's an unwritten rule in some areas (I've noticed it in the Midwest) that you must stop at least one car-length behind the white line. I don't really understand this, but there must be a reason. Maybe the pedestrians there tend to break into dance halfway across the street and need the extra room...

My favorite unwritten rule about driving pertains to the "fast lane." This is, of course, the furthest left normal lane on a freeway. (In Driver's Ed, they call it the "Passing Lane," but once you're out of class, you immediately learn that's a misnomer). Because it is the Fast Lane, you automatically have the right to get upset with (and flash your lights, yell and make obscene gestures at) the person in front of you, who is only going 15 miles over the speed limit, when you wanted to do 20 over.

They teach you in class what to do if a stoplight goes out, or is flashing red. We all know that we're supposed to treat it like a four-way stop. What they don't tell you is that at least half the population doesn't know how to work a four-way stop. So good luck with that one.

We are also taught that a turn signal indicates that you'd like to get into a different lane. This only works in some states. Not in Utah. Here in Utah, a turn signal indicates that you would like the car in the next lane to speed up and then match your speed, thereby making it impossible for you to get into the lane in time to make your turn. We work on aggression here in Utah. You have to really want to get over. Forget the signal, and just start forcing your way in.

When they honk at you, they're really just telling you how much they admire your driving skills.